Do I Matter?
by ingeniusmuffin
Summary: Mikan has been recruited to teach at Alice Academy's art division where she's stuck teaching guys her own age! How will Natsume react to this controversial situation? Does she matter enough that he'd risk his name to be with her as more than just friends?
1. You Don't Matter Enough

**Chapter 1: You Don't Matter Enough**

"_Sakura_, punctuality is of the utmost importance in this institution! How do you expect to achieve high standards in your career if you go around- _lolly gagging_!"

I had to stifle a laugh. I knew I was being rude by showing my amusement at her outrage, but it was just too funny. It's not that I didn't like Yamaguchi; it's just that she was always finding something to get mad at me for. I admit that most times she had valid reasons, like whenever I'd come in late and barely make it to my class, or when I interrupted important meetings between the school chairman and the school sponsors. …Okay there's more than just that, but give me a break! I was learning!

"My apologies, Yamaguchi-san," I started, bowing respectfully and successfully cutting her off like I'd hoped. "Please pardon my being late this morning. I understand that I must have more presence of mind. If you would kindly excuse me? I have a class."

Yamaguchi looked like she wanted to reprimand me some more but she knew as well as I did that I only taught one class full-time and if I was late for it, I'd be fired. As much as she obviously detested me, getting fired would have added to her load of miscellaneous tasks, and she was already handling tons of school projects.

"I expect you to be punctual until the Christmas holidays, Sakura. One more violation and your current spotless record will have reports from every single day you came in late." Yamaguchi pulled down her crisp white blouse and stalked off, her threat seemingly lingering in the air.

I shook off the bad vibes as best as I could and navigated through the empty hallways. My classroom was conveniently located in one of the brightest parts of the building, providing a large, lit up room, neatly organized and well-stocked with art materials, blank canvases, overhead projectors, and countless numbers of unused film rolls. I personally painted the walls a bright green during the summer holidays and had the tinted windows replaced with large sliding ones. Instead of a classroom, my room looked like an artist's workshop. The big, wood furniture was stocked in the school storage, too. I didn't like how all the imposing chairs and tables looked too serious, so I replaced them with benches, stools, and fold-up tables. Clever, huh?

My students were already waiting for me when I walked in. Some lounged on the large bean bags I'd brought in on my first day, and others were doing their own thing.

"Good morning!" I chirped, setting down my folders on the small but sturdy teacher's desk.

Koko, one of my favorite students, went up to me with a canvas covered by a white sheet. The broad grin on his face was contagious and I found myself smiling back. "Mikan-chan, this is for you!"

(Yes, my students call me Mikan-chan. Why? Because we're all the same age. I didn't like them closing themselves off because I was a teacher, so I set down three firm rules at the start of the year. One, I was to be treated like a _friend_ and not a teacher. Two, the only requirement for my class was to have fun. Three, when I spoke I was to be taken seriously, even if I was close with all of them.)

My curiosity spiked at the sight of a covered canvas, its wonders hidden behind the thin sheet. I lifted up the obtrusive cloth and pulled it back, eager to see what Koko—and presumably the rest of the class—had made for me. I gasped when I laid eyes on it.

"Guys, it's _beautiful_!" I exclaimed. At the bottom of the painting, they'd all scribbled down their names, confirming my thought that the class had painted it for me. It was a portrait of a beautiful young woman. Her brown hair hung to the middle of her back, and her perfect heart-shaped face stared innocently at me, her deep brown eyes piercing and mysterious. "Who is this?" I asked, smiling at everyone.

Their reaction ruined the whole mood. Koko slapped the back of my head and Kitsuneme—who appeared out of nowhere, I might add—flicked me on the forehead.

Ruka and Natsume, who usually lingered around the wall reserved for murals, stood in front of me with their arms crossed. Natsume was shaking his head in exasperation and Ruka laughed openly at my naivety.

Ruka ruffled my hair. "It's you, dummy!"

My face obviously went blank and the class broke into raucous laughter. "That can_not_ be me!" I exclaimed. "She looks nothing like me!"

Natsume sighed and sat on my desk. "Have you ever really looked at yourself in the mirror?"

I had to admit, I blushed. I mean, the most handsome guy in the whole class was sitting on my desk and telling me that the gorgeous girl in the portrait they'd painted was me! He was practically calling me beautiful! So, who wouldn't blush at that? That was a _major_ compliment coming from the guy who turned down the gorgeous supermodel Nanami Ito.

"T-thank you," I stuttered, a flush painting my cheeks a rosy color.

"Aw, would you look at that? Mikan is _blushing_! She probably doesn't believe us," Kitsuneme cut in, playfully pinching my cheeks in a brotherly manner. I slapped his hands away and tried to glare at him. I should've known it wasn't any use.

"All right!" I yelled over the loud murmurs. "I have your project for today. Come up with a representation or a symbol that you think defines your whole being! Self-portraits are forbidden."

Everyone groaned but set off to their separate nooks to start on their works. Ruka and Natsume both mock saluted at me and I rolled my eyes at them. The two were always trying to irritate me in every way possible. I wasn't sure if it was because they liked getting something out of me, or it was their way of getting my attention.

The class passed fast, as it always did. It was no surprise that they all aced the project and I let them all off for their next class about six minutes earlier. I took the spare time to organize my newly bought oil paints, since Hayate and Natsume had messed up the old tubes during one of their brawls. It took them about an hour to scrape the dried paint off my well-maintained marble floors. The two were always at it, and whenever they got into fights, I'd put them outside until Natsume walked back in, unharmed and smug. You must think I'm biased. Well, Hayate is pretty much a weakling compared to Natsume. Heck, even _I_ beat him during an arm-wrestling match, much to his embarrassment. Of course I made an oath to never tell anyone. Even so, everyone knew about it at the end of the day, no thanks to Rui Amane's huge mouth.

There was a knock on my door a little after everyone had left and I found Hotaru leaning against the door frame with two cappuccinos from Starbucks in her hand.

"Hey," I greeted. Hotaru walked in and sat down on the long leather couch in the corner, gracefully crossing her legs as she did so. I noticed that she was wearing her new gray skirt suit, so I knew that she'd just come from an important meeting with her business partners.

"Where's Nogi?" she asked, a familiar evil glint in her eyes.

I shrugged nonchalantly and shoved another blank canvas on one of the bare shelves. I'd get back to it later anyway. "Ruka's most likely in his next class with Natsume. Knowing him, I'd guess that his class right now is Western Literature or Trigonometry with Jinno. Joy." Yes, the sarcasm in my voice was audible and obvious.

Hotaru rose and strutted out of my room. "I'll be off now."

I grinned and picked up the cappuccino she'd left on my table when she left. Hotaru got this weird kick out of tormenting Ruka. She sold candids of him to anyone who asked, much to his frustration. Natsume and I found it hilarious. It was just way too much fun watching Ruka attempt to stop Hotaru on one of her selling sprees. Hotaru would get absolutely murderous and fire multiple shots from her idiot gun to knock him out. Of course, he'd surrender every time. They would start it up anywhere. Once it even happened at a formal event!

When I mentioned this to Natsume, he replied with, "It's the sexual tension between the two. They obviously want each other; they just won't admit it because they're too stubborn and proud."

I told Hotaru about what he said, and I ended up hiding in a cupboard to escape her wrath. Of course, it just proved Natsume was right. I still taunt her at the risk of injury, but it's just me telling her to make a move so they can stop ignoring their infatuation. I bent down to continue sorting my stuff, but once again I was interrupted. By Natsume, no less. He just walked into the room and flopped onto the couch Hotaru was previously occupying with a loud sigh. My head poked out from under my desk and I glared at him. He was supposed to be in class, not lounging around in my room looking like a lazy teenager trying to pass the time.

"Shouldn't you be attending P.E. right now?" I asked, straightening up and brushing dust off my skirt-front. I stared pointedly at him.

Natsume sat up and smirked at me. "Shouldn't you be more conscious when you bend down while wearing that?" he smart-assed, raising an eyebrow at my skirt.

I got it instantly. The screech that I let out wasn't exactly friendly to the ears and Natsume flinched away, although his smirk was still firmly in place. I wanted to slap him. No, I wanted to _murder_ him for that comment. No one just points out that you were bending down in a skirt! What if he'd seen my lingerie? I wasn't wearing a particularly concealing pantie that day.

And then, as if to answer my question, he said, "You know, red lace looks really good on you Polka. You should wear it more often." What made it even more mortifying than it already was, happened to be the wink that accompanied his bold statement.

I wanted to die. I really did.

"Hyuuga, get _out_ of my classroom right now." I was hissing at him. He chuckled and moved to the doorway with that usual sexy stride of his—wait, _sexy_? How did that come to mind?

"Oh, Polka?" Natsume started, pausing in the hallway. I grunted as a signal for him to go on. "You do know that everybody can see the top of your bra, right? It's been visible since the middle of your class, and zebra prints look very good on you."

Then he disappeared.

Just in time to avoid the huge, heavy binder that I flung against the door as it slammed shut on its own accord. Stupid Hyuuga.

I bent down again, intending to continue my clean-up, but realized that I probably wouldn't get much done before the next person stormed into my room and—God forbid—found me in the same state Natsume did. Having a scratchy throat for the rest of the day just didn't sound so appealing after I thought things through. Knowing that somebody had seen my red pantie and bold bra ensemble was beyond bad. I decided to resume wearing my boy short panties while in school.

* * *

It was a huge relief when lunch break finally came for me. The coffee Hotaru had brought me had barely been enough to keep my eyes from drooping halfway through the morning. I was badly in need of a nap, but I had to last until final period. Yamaguchi was still keeping a close eye on me.

"Mikan-chan," I heard. I knew immediately that it was Ruka, due to the soft tone and the nearly undetectable touch of a French accent that made his speech slightly lilted.

"Hi, Ruka-pyon." I still hadn't gotten over my habit of calling him that. "Did Hotaru find you?"

He'd been smiling, but at the mention of Hotaru's name he grimaced. I grinned at that, since she'd probably pulled another one of her stunts on him. The two were just so adorable together! Anyone who looked at how they were around each other wouldn't have thought that they were merely friends. They were intimate when they weren't messing around, and when they were you could feel the waves of sexual tension rolling off them from a mile away. Koko and Kitsu had teamed up with Yuu and me to try and put them together. So far, nothing had worked. Hotaru had seen past it every single time and severely punished us.

Ruka's composure snapped back into place and he smiled at me once again. "Actually, I was wondering if…" He stopped and seemed hesitant to go on. "I was wondering if you would accompany me to The Gallery soiree this coming Saturday."

I stopped and stared at him. "A soiree? Ruka-pyon, I'm not the kind of girl you'd want to take to a soiree. Hotaru would be more suited to that kind of environment."

Ruka's face fell. "I've already asked her, but she refused and told me to ask you."

My brows knitted together in confusion. Hotaru wouldn't have turned down his offer without a good reason. What was she up to? Ruka was starting to look nervous, and he fidgeted with the collar of his cobalt blue dress shirt. How did he expect someone as plain as me to accompany someone as dashing as him to an exclusive event? I'd look like a maid next to all the other women.

"Ruka-pyon, I really can't." I looked down at my shoes. "I don't even have anything to wear."

Ruka gave me this funny look and sighed. "Mikan-chan, is _that_ what you're worried about? Not looking good enough?" He laughed a relieved laugh. "I can take care of your outfit if that makes you feel any better. All you have to do is dress up and stay by my side. I promise."

"No one is going to expect me to make small talk?"

Another laugh, this time more confident. "No, Mikan-chan. They will all be under the impression that you are incapable of speech."

I glared at him. "Fine. I'll accompany you to the soiree and make small talk when necessary, but I expect something out of this." I grinned. "Make sure Hotaru gets her lunch on time, Ruka-pyon. Else, she'll have your head propped up on her door this evening."

Ruka paled and muttered something incoherent before rushing off, giving me a grateful pat on the shoulder. Seconds later, Natsume appeared and took Ruka's spot at my side.

"I hear you're going to the soiree with Ruka."

The look he gave me was tinged with jealousy. I snickered inwardly and shrugged for show. Natsume's eyes narrowed. I'd gotten in line and had my tray nestled in my arms, Natsume still by my side with a tray of his own. I looked him up and down from the corner of my eye as he was spacing out, eating in every single detail of his seemingly perfect body. His hair had gotten darker, leaving it midnight blue instead of its usual raven-like color. He looked like he worked out, but not enough to make him big and buff like other guys. His body was long and lean, an athlete's figure. The most gorgeous pair of crimson red eyes captured everyone's attention, defining his sharp features. He stood at a height of about 5'11 or 6'2 on average. Looking at him, one would think he was a model. He very well should have been. Abercrombie & Fitch didn't know what they were missing out by not hiring him any sooner. They would have gained a hell of a lot more customers.

Natsume's gaze shifted and I swiftly went back to scanning lunch choices. I settled for lasagna and a piece of garlic bread. Natsume bought a larger, calorie-packed meal.

I moved to a vacant table and he followed. It was an unspoken agreement that we ate together. We'd kept up a record of not missing having lunch together for almost a year and Natsume liked to say that it was because I was hopelessly in love with him.

"So, what made you agree to be Nogi's date?" Natsume asked, popping a fry into his mouth.

I made eye contact and pushed my lasagna around my plate. "Hotaru turned him down and said he should ask me instead. It was hard to reject his invitation since he seemed so pitiful."

Natsume snorted. "He wouldn't have been dateless for very long if you _had_ turned him down."

I ignored his comment. "Why do you care so much about me going with him? Jealous 'cause I'm going to the soiree with him and not you?"

Natsume glared and lightly kicked my shins under the table. "You know that's not what I mean. You don't matter enough to make me jealous just because you agreed to be someone else's date to a party I'm not even going to."

My heart stung.

Natsume seemed to realize what he said and I held back tears as I stood and gathered my things. I headed over to a table where I saw Narumi and Misaki laughing. I dropped down beside them and they welcomed me into the conversation.

I ignored Natsume for the rest of the period.

* * *

**A/N:** _Hey guys! I'm alive! Can you believe it? As of now, I'm working on this new story. I hope you all like it. :) I haven't been updating Impulse, but it's because I'm putting it under revision. My writing style was blech. Once I'm done with the revisions, I'll be updating regularly again. Au revoir!_

_-Alexa_

_PS. Thanks to all those who still read Impulse and review. :D I appreciate it and I love you guys.  
_


	2. You Are My World

**Chapter 2: You Are My World**

Ah, final period. What seemed like heaven to most was like hell to me on that day. I left in a blind rush, knocking into some of my co-workers and toppling books from the arms of unsuspecting students. The only thought in my head was, "_I have to get away from Natsume Hyuuga_." Knowing him, he would be on the lookout for me as soon as he got out of class. I'd begged Jinno for a favor and asked him to stall Natsume as long as he could while I made my speedy getaway.

Narumi looked concerned as I was shoving my books in my bag earlier on. Even Misaki seemed slightly worried about my hysterical state of mind.

"Mikan-chan, are you sure you don't want one of us to accompany you home?" he'd asked.

I spared a few moments to smile at both of them and slung my bag over my shoulder. "Don't worry about me. You two have to attend the faculty meeting later, and I don't. I'll be fine. I promise." Narumi opened his mouth to protest, so I quickly cut him off. "I'll give you a call once I get home."

Misaki nodded in Narumi's place and turned to leave, giving the effeminate blond a pointed look. I rushed over and hugged him since he was very much like an uncle—and a father—to me, before following Misaki out. I could feel his gaze linger on me, though. I tried not to feel guilty about leaving him in the dust. Usually, I'd have told him everything that happened, word for word.

I was already in a cab when my phone started vibrating, Natsume's name flashing repeatedly on the screen in big, bold letters. I picked up the small mobile, stared at it, hesitated, and turned it off. I was in no mood whatsoever to listen to Natsume's meaningless apologies when he was sure to just repeat the offense sometime in the future. Besides, it wasn't my obligation to pick up the phone each time he called, or reply to every single message I received from him. I wasn't his, and I wouldn't let him get to me. If I didn't matter enough to him, he definitely didn't matter enough to me as well.

I arrived in front of my building a lot earlier than usual, and the only thing on my mind was soaking myself in a warm bath filled to the brim with my favorite raspberry bath foam.

My home was actually pretty much my studio. It was fairly large for just one person. I had two bedrooms, one for me and the other for any time I had guests. I had a living room, a kitchen, a dining area, a small balcony, and my small work area hidden at the back. Every room reflected my eclectic personality and the color fusions were both eye-catching and bright. I never did like painting walls in dark colors because it gave off a gloomy air. Besides, I would never paint my walls _white_. That would have been detestable. Face it; even my ceilings had been painted a rich sunflower yellow. The wood paneling was dark, so I carpeted the whole apartment in bright colors like yellows, lime greens, baby pinks, and sky blues.

Clearly not forgetting my promise to Narumi, I dutifully picked up the phone that I'd positioned on the wall and punched in the number that I'd come to memorize. I only had to let it ring thrice before the familiar tone of Narumi's voice filled my ears.

"Good. You're home," he said, a relieved tone lacing through his words.

I laughed cheerfully into the phone as I moved around my kitchen. "Come on Uncle Naru, you know I take good care of myself!" The muttering I heard from the other end of the line wasn't so reassuring so I quickly changed the topic to something more acceptable. "How is Uncle Kazu doing? I know that he's still on vacation from being a principal, but it's been a while since he called."

Narumi sighed. "Your uncle is a hardworking man. Even while he was on vacation he was constantly asking me to rifle through his mail and check his schedule in case he had any meetings."

"He's not on vacation anymore?"

"No," Narumi muttered. "He found it unbearable to be away from work for more than a week."

I let out the breath I'd been holding and concentrated on finding the ingredients I would need for dinner. "Well, since he's back, do you two want to come over for dinner? I'm in the mood to make some Italian food, but I always end up making too much for one person."

Narumi chuckled. "We'll be there at seven thirty sharp."

There was a barely audible click and the line disconnected. I focused on nothing else as I pulled out a few more things I would need for lasagna, pasta Alfredo, and garlic bread.

Cooking had always been like second nature to me. I could drift off and still be able to create the perfect dish, which is what I was doing then. My head was in outer space but my hands were swiftly preparing the layers I'd need for the lasagna and prodding the toasting bread that was already giving off a pleasant aroma. No doubt Uncle Kazu would be stuffing himself. Italian was, indeed, his most favorite kind of cuisine.

Alas, cooking didn't preoccupy me for as long as I'd expected and I was left to stare vacantly at the oven, wondering when the lasagna would be good enough to remove from the intense heat of my Hell's-Kitchen-worthy oven. The bread was done and had been sliced and placed in a nice basket I used for dishes like those. The Alfredo was already in a large glass bowl on the dining table, waiting for the guests. I'd taken the spare time to heat up one of my pistachio pies for dessert, but still the lasagna wasn't done. Bored, I lounged on my sofa and leafed through a magazine. When the alarm of the oven went off, I carefully took out the lasagna in all its perfection.

"All done," I murmured to myself. A quick glance at the time—which read six thirty-five—indicated that I had almost an hour to get dressed and garnish the rest of the food. If Narumi said they'd be arriving at seven thirty, I'd need to look sophisticated enough for Uncle Kazu, since he disapproved of casual attire at dinners.

I got my wish when I settled down in my bathtub. I'd put a cream in my hair to make it shinier and manageable and lathered myself with moisturizing body foam. I repeat: luxury at its finest. My hygiene session finished eventually. I blow-dried my hair—which is rare because blow dryers always make my hair brittle and give me split ends—and put on a yellow halter sundress that was pleasing to the eye and flattered my figure. I'd, uh, filled out on the top during my pubescent years and my hips had gained a curve that made my waist look smaller. Nevertheless, my body was still proportional.

I brushed on lip gloss and didn't bother with anything else since I wasn't especially fond of wearing make-up at night. Besides, I had better things to do.

My apartment was well-lit. The hanging lights gave everything an artistic and cheerful feel, all the while looking as if it was handing out an invitation for someone to stay and feel welcome. It was what I had been aiming for when I was redecorating.

I'd only just finished laying out the plates and my best silverware when there was a buzz from the phone coming directly from the building's front desk. "_Miss Sakura, you have three men waiting in the hallway. Are they official guests?_"

I pressed down on the microphone switch. "Yes, please send them up."

It was only a matter of time until I heard three sharp raps on my door. I slid the deadbolt out of place and unlocked the door, pulling it open to reveal Uncle Kazu, Narumi, and an unexpected visitor. He'd definitely matured since I last saw him. His face had narrowed and his hair had grown out in a shaggy style, framing his handsome face in blond layers.

"Yuu!" I exclaimed, gathering him into a hug that he eagerly accepted.

"Mikan-chan!" His voice was still soft and velvety, unlike the husky and rough voices of my other matured male classmates. "It's so great to see you again!"

Uncle Kazu and Narumi smiled. Yuu and I had become fast friends when I first arrived at the Academy at the age of ten, and I still owed him for being there for me in some of my hardest moments. He and Hotaru both made my first few weeks bearable.

Uncle Kazu spoke up, his gravelly voice greatly contrasting with Yuu's. "Narumi and I ran into him on our way out of the building, so I invited him along knowing you'd like the visit."

I grinned broadly and let them all in. Yuu glanced around my place with appreciation. Narumi had been in my apartment often from his frequent visits with my mother so he simply slung his jacket in the small coat closet off to the side. Uncle Kazu had been over around six times, so he handed his suit jacket to Narumi and headed to my kitchen, most probably to pour himself a glass of champagne.

"Nice place you have here, Mikan-chan."

I shut the door behind me and turned to Yuu. "Thank you! I painted it myself."

For the first time that evening I noticed what changed most about Yuu. He wasn't wearing his glasses anymore. His eyes shone in the bright lights, making the blue shade look lighter.

"Do you have guests often?" Yuu asked, following me into living room.

I smiled and shook my head. "Not often. I like solitude whenever I'm home. It's peaceful."

He nodded beside me, and I could tell he agreed. "I know what you mean. Sometimes I just like to curl up on my couch with a book after a particularly harsh day at work."

Narumi came back out of the kitchen to join us. "Yuu has been working in the United States for a very successful company. He's already made it to the list of the Top Ten Most Successful Bachelors in Japan." He cast Yuu an impressed smile. "That, and he has also made it to the list of Top Ten Most Desirable Young Bachelors in Asia."

I laughed and circled Yuu in a mock-flirtatious manner. "I can see why he'd have girls drooling. You've become quite the looker, Iinchou."

His blush was evident and it was hard to picture him posing in a seductive manner for the photographs that were always included in lists. Innocent, effeminate Yuu from my school days was gone. I wasn't lying when I said he'd become a looker. He was _hot_.

"Well, dinner is on the table if you three want to start," I suggested.

Uncle Kazu came out from the kitchen with a glass of wine. "Dinner sounds like heaven right now. The faculty meeting was horrendous."

The four of us took a seat at my table and the light-hearted conversation was pleasant. Yuu joked about his boss who was supposedly a slave-driver and kept all his employees on their feet with his tasks and projects. He seemed to enjoy his work, though. Uncle Kazu also regaled us with funny moments from his vacation. Narumi shared some stories about how life was living with my mother. His sarcastic comments had us all in hysterics and made it hard to eat. When dessert time came, my three guests were humming with content. The sight of the warm pie made them happier.

"You sure know how to cook, Mikan-chan," Yuu commented around his bite of pie.

I grinned in delight and finished off my slice. Narumi and Uncle Kazu heartily agreed with Yuu and exclaimed on how the wine complimented the taste of the pistachios.

Even after the table was cleared, we all gathered in the living room to reminisce on Academy days. Yuu and I couldn't help but feel nostalgic sitting across from our old principal and teacher as we told them about the silly romances, the hilarious circumstances, and the dramatic moments. I recounted the whole story on Natsume's kidnapping and how Sumire and I had made a daring rescue and watched as a warehouse blew up. Yuu listened eagerly and Uncle Kazu grimaced. Narumi had already heard the story and sometimes made commentary whenever I talked about the AAO.

"Natsume may never have been attentive or obedient in my classes, but he was still one of the best from your batch. His kidnapping came as a shock to everyone," Narumi murmured.

Uncle Kazu grunted his agreement. "I had an extremely difficult time keeping that boy safe from the ESP. He was always being sent on risky missions, so I thwarted the plans to send him to be an official recruit for the AAO Counter-Attack Group. Persona had convinced himself that Natsume was skilled enough to become the general, what with his Fire Alice. I convinced them otherwise." He grimaced. "The boy may have tried to look tough, but he was as fragile as glass with his sister in the school's hands. It was no wonder he hated it there."

I spoke up on his behalf. "Natsume seems much happier nowadays. He hasn't had any of his seizures in eight years. He isn't as pale, too." I paused for a millisecond recalling how he used to look like a ghost. "I truly think he's recovered from the trauma of the battle. I know everyone else has. We've even refrained from using our Alices for six years."

Yuu frowned. "Natsume seemed upset when I saw him earlier. I wonder what that was all about. He didn't even notice me when I called out to him, and then Koko tackled me."

I froze in my seat. "Upset? What do you mean?"

Yuu fixed his gaze on the cup of coffee he held in his hands. "Upset, like he'd just been dumped by a lover or something. Whatever was on his mind must have been troubling him a great deal to have distracted him like that."

I swallowed and rose. "I'm going for a quick bathroom break."

The three didn't notice anything unusual, thank God. I was sure for a second that Narumi would figure it out by putting this and that together. Apparently he didn't seem to know anything. I lingered in a corner for a moment and when the topic never switched to me, I sighed and walked into the comfort of my en-suite. My cheeks were still flushed from laughing so hard throughout dinner, but it merely made my face look rosy. I rinsed my hands in the warm water and pondered what Yuu had said as I dried them on the terry-cloth hand towel hanging by the mirror.

Why would Natsume be so upset and 'distracted' if I didn't matter to him? I mean, by saying that he was practically indicating that he didn't care about me.

But he had said, "You don't matter _**enough**_ to me." Did that mean he cared just a little?

Or better yet, was he _lying_?

Natsume had always been closed off whenever a conversation involved his feelings. Even after years of being away from the Academy, was he still having trouble expressing his emotions well? If that was the case, was the whole thing just a misunderstanding?

My thoughts were seriously conflicted when I rejoined the three in my living room.

"Mikan-chan!" Uncle Kazu acknowledged. "I must leave now. I have an important meeting with the school chairman tomorrow, and I mustn't be late. Narumi has offered to accompany me."

"That's fine!" I interjected. "It was wonderful to have you over."

We shared a hug and then I turned to Narumi who patted me on the head as a father would. "I'll see you tomorrow then, Mikan-chan. Remember not to be late, or Yamaguchi will be on your case for the rest of the week." He winked and disappeared.

Yuu laughed softly beside me. "That was a pleasant reunion."

I turned to him and grinned broadly. "Absolutely. Wait until the others see you! Anna and Nonoko will be thrilled!" I hugged him again. "We all missed you terribly. Sumire wouldn't admit it at first, but she finally cracked when Koko threatened to reveal all her thoughts about you to the rest of us." I looked up in his eyes. "She had a crush on you for a little while, you know?"

He laughed. "Sumire and I were a pair headed for destruction. I missed everyone just as terribly. In fact, I kept everyone's pictures in my journal. I took it everywhere. Whenever I felt like quitting and going back to Japan, I'd look at them and think of how disappointed you all would be if I gave up when I was so close to my dream."

"We would have smacked you upside the head and put you on the next plane going back," I agreed, although I lightened the mood with a broad grin.

Yuu grinned as well and then the mood turned serious. "When we were talking about Natsume earlier, you looked fidgety. Do you know something?" His eyes bore into me and I flinched.

"I- I might know… something."

"What?"

I grew edgy and constantly shifted my weight from right to left. Yuu noticed and planted his hands firmly on my shoulders, his eyes narrowed at me in the scariest way I'd ever seen coming from him. My resolve broke.

"We were eating lunch together and he seemed jealous about me agreeing to attend a stupid soiree with Ruka this Saturday. When I mentioned it, he grew furious and told me I didn't matter enough to evoke such a feeling in him. I left." I turned away from Yuu's unblinking eyes. "I didn't think he would be affected by it. I mean, shouldn't _I_ be the one acting like a zombie?"

Yuu sighed in exasperation and perched himself on a sofa. "Mikan-chan, you're still as blind as ever. You have to come to your senses!"

"What are you talking about?" I exclaimed, enraged that he would refer to me as naïve.

"Mikan-chan, think about it-"

"No, I will _not_ think about it!" I interrupted. "_He_ hurt _me_, so don't you dare call me blind and tell me to come to my senses! I came to my senses years ago, Yuu! I acknowledged that I loved him at a young age, and even if I don't matter more than the dirt under Natsume's shoes, he sure as hell does matter to me!"

Yuu sat there staring at me, looking indifferent despite my outburst.

"Mikan," he began calmly. "What I'm trying to say is that Natsume had closed himself off when he was a child. Even a dog would be better at showing affection than he is." I resisted the urge to smile at that statement. "Mikan, you have to consider how inexperienced he is at trying to show his love for the people around him. He hasn't dated anyone in his whole life, and you've dated numerous guys. His first kiss, his first intimate hug, his first friend of the opposite gender… they were all you. I don't know Natsume that well, but I'm sure he expects you to understand this. He probably took it harder than you did, since he was the one who said it."

There was a silence before I spoke. "Does that mean he _does_ care about me?" I asked meekly.

Yuu smiled gently and placed a hand over mine in reassurance. "It sure does. And if you ask me, I think it's about time you two had a serious talk about what kind of relationship you have."

He rose and kissed me on the cheek. "I really should be leaving now. I have work tomorrow, and you do too. Good night, Mikan-chan. Thanks for having me."

I waved as he closed the door behind him.

I'd had an epiphany after he'd given me his speech. He'd been spot on. After all the time I spent with Natsume since we were ten, I'd come to know more about him than even Ruka. He trusted me enough to tell me about his problems, family issues, and practically anything. We had sometimes spent hours under the Sakura tree just talking about anything and everything until someone decided they needed us. Those times were still precious to me.

I should have been more considerate. I should've tried to see from Natsume's perspective. In the end, I'd made a mountain out of a mole hill.

I was certain that the next day would be eventful. I would attempt to talk to Natsume and sort things out between us. And then the inevitable. I would ask him what I meant to him, and hopefully be able to tell him what he meant to me.

What I would tell him was the problem. But even as I thought about it, the words just seemed to form on my lips and roll off my tongue in all its clichéd glory.

"You are my world."

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**A/N:** _Hi guys! I've finally uploaded the second chapter! Haha. Sorry it took a while. I'd have been faster, but I've been attending all these drop-dead boring Christmas parties for old people. Everyone was like, 60, at the last one I went to. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter! Merry Christmas to all of you! This is my Christmas gift to my readers, and the next chapter will be my New Year's blessing to them. :] I want to thank _ **Melyss**, **MiNsEi**, **xxxHazelxCrimsonxxx**, **Kylee-Cat**, **A101**, **chrisca123456789**, _and_ **MidnightRose243** _for reviewing my first chapter! You guys are awesome, and I appreciate your comments._

_**A101** - In response to your question, Mikan became their teacher because she'd progressed faster than the rest and was the best in the whole batch. She ended up taking advanced courses and was offered the teaching job. The whole situation will be explained in a future chapter. :)  
_


	3. When the Truth Comes Out

**Chapter 3: When the Truth Comes Out**

I'd been anxious from the moment I set foot on Academy grounds. Uncle Kazu dropped by in the morning before his meeting and had a cup of coffee with me. I let him in on the deal and he remained straight-faced until he rose to leave.

"Mikan-chan, both of us know that Natsume Hyuuga is very complex. He might not be able to express his emotions as well as others, but I'd known since the moment you two became partnered in third grade that you would have a huge effect on him." He fixed his stern gaze on me. "You're an intelligent young lady, and I know that you will think this through and come up with the right decision. Whatever you do choose, don't neglect to enlighten Natsume on your current infatuation with him. He will both appreciate and respect your straightforwardness."

And with that he left. It was such a long speech for a man who was known to speak in wise, but few words. Perhaps he cared more for Natsume than he let on. He'd always been one of the best High School principals at the Academy due to his consideration of the students' opinions.

"Mikan-chan, your uncle is quite right," Narumi cut in. He'd obviously been listening to the whole conversation, but I didn't really mind.

"Should I just be blunt about my feelings for him?" I asked, greatly conflicted.

Narumi looked thoughtful, but he seemed so certain when he answered that I had no doubt he was sincere. "Natsume has always craved affection, and those moments you two have together always appease his appetite."

Although his analogy was amusing, I knew it was true. Every time I'd hugged Natsume, he'd pulled me closer and made it last longer than it was supposed to be. Small talk always turned into full-blown conversations. Simple pecks on the cheek were always rewarded with gentle gazes and longing. He was, undoubtedly, _very_ complex. I found that was what drew me to him. He was like a mystery I desperately wanted to solve, and yet I always seemed to miss out on the crucial clues.

Narumi moved closer. "Go for it, Mikan." He gave me a gentle pat on the shoulder and smiled. "If things don't work out between you two, you can at least be comforted knowing you tried."

I understood his logic, but I still held some doubt. What if he didn't love me like Yuu, Uncle Kazu, and Narumi had claimed. What if he'd just been acting like a brother to me all along, and I'd just been seeing it the wrong way? I knew I had to stay optimistic if I was to push through with my plan, but there were so many pros and cons that could intertwine with my decision, and I wasn't sure that I was ready to deal with all of the cons quite yet. For one, student-teacher relationships were forbidden.

I was risking getting him expelled by being open with my love for him.

I mentioned this to Narumi and he reacted in an exasperated, almost weary way. "Mikan, do you really think that he'd _care_ if he got expelled? He's been waiting for you to return his affections for ten years, and you think that one measly expulsion would deter him?"

"He is a brilliant student, but he has a bright future waiting for him if he continues to study here and I don't want to-"

He cut me short. "Mikan, he _loves_ you. If he has to risk his track record to be with you, _he will_."

I stayed quiet. Narumi dropped into the seat across from me and ran a hand through his long hair. It was obvious that he had a point, and it showed. He'd won. If I'd been waiting ten years for the guy I loved and he started to notice me, I wouldn't care what happened to me as long as I had a chance to be with him. So, would Natsume and I become a couple? It stunned me at that moment when I realized that what I'd wanted for so long was finally within my reach. I mean, there were definitely some obstacles I'd have to overcome, but I was willing to do it. Natsume never really had been just a friend. He always seemed to be something more…

Narumi was still looking at me expectantly. His eyebrows were raised and his mouth was set in a straight line. He disapproved of my paranoia.

"I'll do it, so don't worry too much."

The disapproval was gone in an instant and he rose to his full height with a smile. "Great! Misaki and I will be here waiting, so you have to tell us _everything_, got it?" The smile broadened when I nodded. "Remember, you have to tell him this in a soft manner, or he'll think you're mad."

I huffed indignantly and flung a small book at the blond man. His laughter could still be heard even after the book had slumped to the floor and the door had closed.

It was going to be a long day. Of that I was certain.

Since I'd been assigned as the head Art teacher for Class A—which is the class Natsume, Ruka, and the others are in—I'd always been eager to begin morning sessions. This day, however, I started the class with a feeling of dread knotting in my chest. I avoided eye contact with everyone as I wrote the instructions on the whiteboard and buried my nose in a book about Picasso immediately afterward. I was being a coward.

Koko, being aware of my distress (we all suspect that his mind reading Alice made him more observant of people's emotions and moods), tried several times to get me to open up. His efforts were futile as I was determined to block everyone out. Talking to him meant I was risking Natsume overhearing my thoughts on him. It would blow everything up.

Of course, when the class ended, Natsume and Ruka were one of the last to go. They lingered in the back of the classroom where Ruka had been constructing a model of a skyscraper. I figured it would be the best time for me to talk to Natsume in private.

I had to drag my feet to where they stood with their backs to me. I hesitated a moment, feeling the dread constrict my lungs and make it harder to breathe.

"Natsume?" He jolted when he heard me and turned around warily. I smiled up at him, although it must have seemed meek and pitiful. "Could I talk to you for a minute?"

He gave me a stiff nod and flashed a meaningful look at Ruka, who quickly but carefully scooped up his model and left the room. The door closed gently behind him, ensuring privacy. I had no idea why the thought of being alone comforted me. It should have made me even more uncomfortable. Especially with the tension rolling off both of us in waves.

"_I'm sorry_!"

Pause. Awkward silence. We'd both said it at the same time. Natsume's lips twitched and he cleared his throat nervously. He obviously wanted me to go first.

I started, but the jumble of words was incoherent. It sounded like I was sputtering. I tried again and things came out successful. "Natsume, I'm sorry. I overreacted and you must have thought I was a huge drama queen and-"

He put a finger to my lips, stopping my rant. "Mikan, of all the ridiculous things in the world, _you_ are apologizing to _me_? It should be the other way around." His finger left my lips and I opened my mouth to shoot back a reply when he gave me that look. The same look he'd give me when he was trying to make a point, but tried to be gentle about it. "What I said to you was uncalled for and…" He seemed to hesitate. I waited. "It was completely untrue."

My eyes widened. "Natsume, what do you-"

"Mikan, you _do_ matter to me. Maybe even more than any other person I've ever met. I was jealous. So, so jealous. I had the nerve to consider giving Ruka food poisoning so he couldn't go to the soiree. I knew that if that had happened, I would go in his place. I'm stupid and rash."

The whole time he was talking, I just watched him. If I had known any better, he was more nervous than me. I suddenly had an urge to just kiss him and get it over with, but I waited until he wore out his words and stood before me, out of breath and looking like a child that just got reprimanded. He was sorry. I could tell. Everything that Yuu had told me came flooding back into my head and I saw the traces of a restless night on his face. He _had_ beat himself up about it. The knot of dread in my chest was gone, replaced by a light feeling. Who knew that everything could be set right so quickly?

When Natsume looked back up at me, finally daring to make eye contact, I didn't hesitate to fling my arms around him and just pull him close.

I had obviously caught him off guard because his body was tense and stiff at first. Gradually, the tension left his shoulders and I felt his strong arms snake around my waist and hug me back. I buried my face in his chest and inhaled, loving the smell of cinnamon that always seemed to linger on him. It was spicy but soothing to the nose, and I somehow found that it suited him perfectly.

He spoke, and I could feel the rumble in his chest as he did. "Does this mean I'm forgiven?"

"There was nothing to be forgiven," I laughed softly, pulling back to look him in the eye. "It was all a silly misunderstanding, so let's put it behind us."

His expression was unreadable but it was fiery. I could feel his arms tighten the slightest bit but it was enough that I was pulled closer than I was before. I knew I wasn't finished. I had missed out on the most important part of my speech.

_Do it_, I told myself.

Natsume was watching me curiously, but I ignored him while I mustered up the courage I needed. I couldn't look at him, because I might have chickened out. Thoughts were raging in my head, all fighting an internal battle. I wanted to tell him, but another part of me xsaid it was too soon. The other side retorted saying I'd waited ten years and it was about time. Then a fist-fight. The positive side eventually won out and I cowered. Instead of letting Natsume see my anxiety, I hugged him again and hid my face in the crook of his neck.

He accepted the hug and I could feel his cheek resting on top of my head. I opened my mouth and took a deep breath. "Natsume?"

"Hm?"

"I love you."

Silence. I started panicking. I was too scared to look at his face and see his reaction. He didn't go stiff like when I'd hugged him, so I assumed that was a good thing. And then I heard it.

He sighed—not in exasperation, mind you—and it sounded wistful. He moved his cheek and let his forehead rest on my shoulder. I thanked the gods that I was wearing heels, or else I would have been too short for him to do that. I could feel his breath on my neck, and I had to admit that my face was as red as a tomato.

"Why did it take you so long?" Natsume murmured.

My eyes were as round as plates when he said that. I pulled back abruptly, but my arms were still around his neck. "What do you mean? Did you already know?"

He smiled. It wasn't a smirk, it was a smile. A genuine one, too.

"Let's go somewhere else," he suggested. "I think I know the perfect place, too."

* * *

**A/N:** _Cliffhanger! I know readers hate them, but I cut this chapter short because it would make it more exciting and Chapter 4 is coming up today as well. Keep your eyes peeled! :D I was so happy when I saw how may people put this on story alert, and on their favorites list. I'm touched. I want to thank _**Melyss**_, _**MidnightRose243**_, _**kirathi**_, _**xxxHazelxCrimsonxxx, Kylee-Cat**_, _**55mani**_, _**maaike13**_, _**lemonandapples**_, and _**BlindingColors**_ for reviewing Chapter 2. I love hearing what you have to say!_

_**Melyss **_-_ Why not? :) A few details will be revealed in the next chapter, and I'll make sure to add in a few parts to answer your questions._


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